AUGUST 12, 1999

Iím going to open my mouthÖ..Wisdom, to see what He wants to say.  Twenty-two years ago the Heavenly Society was born.  As I reread the Heavenly Society document that was read that very first meeting, handed out that very first meeting -  how many were there?  Three of you -  I thought back to the beginning of it.  In the first place I was 43 which at this point would seem like a mere child even to Nancy who has always been a mere child to a lot of us in the group.  I can see some of those who were there.  For those of you who were not there, those who were can tell you there have been many who have come and many who have gone.  Many.  I can think back to when it began and it began at my house when I lived at 9 West Glann Road, right down the street.  There have been hundreds who have come through and gone on.  I meet people who tell me that they remember and I donít remember themÖ..so many.

I will never forget when He told me that I was going to teach.  I had been shut away with Him for years and He had told me that He was going to bring me forth to teach.  But the teaching would be very different from what I had done before.  That in this teaching there would be no study.  That I was to get up and open my mouth and He would fill it and He has.  Faithful is He Who calleth thee Who also will do it.

Today is almost twenty-two years later: a new beginning.  Totally, totally different it will be, totally, totally different.  Iíve spent some time absorbing what I have felt He has wanted me to see through His eyes and itís been nothing short of extraordinary.  I began naively in 1977, not naively in 1999.  Let me tell you what I mean by that.

In 1977 when we began, everyone who walked through the door I considered all equal.  Do you know what I mean by that when I say all equal?  I didnít think there were any spiritual differences.  Everyone who walked through the door I just assumed when they heardÖ.Boom!  That was going to be it.  Then -  when they started leaving, you knowÖ Iíve come to see a lot of scriptures take on life.  Theyíre not verses on the printed page anymore.  When we look at things humanly, a long time would be ten years.  Thatís a long time.  But when He says a thousand years is like a day that gives you a different perspective.

Something extraordinary happened over the past few weeks.  If I hadnít lived through it, I wouldnít have believed it.

 I knew -  in fact, Iíve known for a good while and have waited for the good while that changes were going to be made.  But I certainly didnít have a clue that the change would be what it evolved as.  And I donít think you would either.  Unless you were looking through His eyes, you would never understand.  You wouldnít be able to know.  I got to see three perspectives from standing in the midst andÖ.  Iím talking about the e-mail things, tools, all of the events over the past month.   Most especially.  I began to see what He already knew.  But I certainly did not know that the ending would be what it was.  And I donít know if I can make you understand that.  I think in some ways one of the scriptures that took on life was, ďHe that is first shall be last and he that is last shall be first.Ē  That was one of them:  [took on] major life, major life.  His ways are past finding out.  Pure glory comes out of gory.  But much did crystallize.

I donít think thereís any point in my trying to give you my perspective because I just donít think there are words that could give expression.  Maybe someday, maybe someday.  I really want to talk truly about change:

 Re-organization is a good word but I think adjustment would be a better word.  In the Hebrew, I cannot draw to mind right now the Hebrew word that speaks of the adjusting that God does.  Iíve learned a lot about His adjusting through [my working on] the Web pages.  I never dreamt there would be so much tinkering:  tinker, tinker, tinker, tinker, and its obvious that that is what He does on us.  Adding a little color here and taking away something there and putting something else in.  And itís just extraordinary to me, just extraordinary.

And I donít think thereís any page on the Web of all the myriad pages - my gosh, I canít even stop to think [of how many there are.   I donít know how they all got done, my body knows, I really donít.] -  I donít think thereís any page that got worse or diminished in quality in any way.  I see it as one of those representation and correspondences that represent and correspond to the spiritual thing which is a Creator that just never slumbers nor sleeps which really means His work never stops.  He is never asleep on the job.  Even at night when I awake - and thatís very, very often -  itís like Heís standing there just waiting for me to wake up so He can say something.  Our body learns to adjust after years of screaming [the body, that is].  You learn to pay no attention [to the body], that thereís something greater and higher and just one Word of His can dispel eons of darkness.  Pure glory!

So, in Song of Songs 6:8. This is the promise, where the adjustment is being made.  It is a profound recognition for me.  What it is for, I do not know.  I know for me it is a profound recognition.  This is the promise upon which the new is based.  ďThere are three score queens and four score concubines and virgins without number.Ē  Thatís the promise.  If I put it in plain terminology, I begin again with the full recognition that there are levels, degrees at different states of spirituality within the Organism.  Now that recognition itself demands a change of my commitment and my time.  It cannot be spent as it has been.  I will die, I will die, I will die [if I continue as have been doing].

But my intent is to see that all are nurtured, fed and embraced.  But a goodly part of it will be body ministry, which is what it should be.  Let me read you a few more scriptures"

Song of Songs 6:8 Ė ďThere are three score queens and four score concubines and virgins without number.Ē  These are all in the harem of King Solomon.  Now King Solomon is a type of Christ.  It sounds strange from our perspective to think of a harem.  That has, for the one who has the harem, that sounds like a terrible thing.  Thatís because one is looking at it as him rather than looking at the harem because each of those terms defines a type.  A type of member of a whole.  If you say harem. thatís the whole, but when you say "queens", "concubines", "virgins", those describe types.  So when you look at it as a type of spirituality in levels and degrees or just say descriptions of growth, it changes the picture doesnít it?  It then doesnít seem the illicit type of relating as it is a personal qualification of the individual members.

 The term "queens" has a particular connotation.  The term "concubines" has a particular connotation and the term "virgins" has a particular connotation.  I donít think most people look at that part of the story.  They probably just try to look past most of it because it just seems so unseemly of a thing for the Lord.  But, here we all sitÖ.lovers.

And really, instead of being glad that someone drops out of the picture, there is instead an urging and impelling on to mature.  Isnít that astounding?    Itís an astounding,  spiritual truth.  Particularly also when the harem has "males" and "females", which is another strange phenomenon that just takes us over.  In His harem, in His love- bundle," males" and "females" - and we donít think anything of it.  Weíre brothers and sisters.  Brother so and so, oh how he loves the Lord, or sister so and so, how she loves the Lord.  And we are all loving the same Person.  And even in meetings weíll close our eyes where you can just love independently of the one sitting right next to you and you each are just caught up in love and worship.

So, these differences are there:

 (9)  ďMy dove, my undefiled is but one:Ē  (Fan:  Thatís awesome.  You have "queens", you have "concubines", you have "virgins".)  ďMy dove, my undefiled is but one; she is the only one of her mother,Ē   (Fan: See, youíve got to assume that thereís this common Mother of them all which is the Church.  All of these are in the Church.)  ďShe is the choice one of her that bare her.  The 'daughters' saw her and blessed her.Ē  (Fan:  See, all of these are the "daughters".)  ďYea, the "queens" and the "concubines", and they praised her.  (10) "Who is she that looketh forth as the morning, fair as the moon, clear as the sun, and terrible as an army with banners?Ē   (11)  ďI went down into the garden of nuts to see the fruits of the valley, and to see whether the vine flourished, and the pomegranates budded.  (12)  Or ever I was aware, my soul made me like the chariots of Amminadib.Ē  (Fan:  And the "daughters" call out.)  (13) ďReturn, return, O Shulamite: return, return that we may look upon thee.  What will ye see in the Shulamite?  As it were the company of two armies.Ē

Fan:  And in the 8th chapter beginning at the 4th verse:  ďI charge you O daughters of Jerusalem that ye stir not up, nor awake my love until he please.Ē
Fan:  Now see that there is given an insight into the various stages, the various levels, and the various degrees.

I am probably content now....finally.  I am content now.  He has worked it in me.  I am extraordinarily content to let be.  Thereís a scripture that comes to my mind.  ďLet the filthy be filthy.  Let it be.  Let the holy be holy, let it be.Ē  Maybe I can demonstrate it.  Hedy gave me a tape sometime ago and Iím going to play it.  There is a song, ďLooking Through Your EyesĒ.   Now, on the tape a very young girl, I think sheís in her teens, may be about 18 or 19 now, Lee Ann Rimes.  She sings the song first and to me itís wonderful to show this.

Hereís the young girl singing this first.  Next youíll hear it totally different.  Youíll hear someone else singing the same thing.  Then there will be a third - same song (instrumental piano) - and just listen.  Wonderful song.   [Fan played the first rendition.  Then played the second rendition of the same song.  Then she played the third rendition].  Isnít that an extraordinary demonstration?  Same song, but the levels are there and you canít escape them.  This gorgeous young singerÖÖÖ

Extraordinary singer, she has to grow yet.  When I first heard the tape, she was first and oh, I was just enthralled until I heard the second one.  Then you realize the nuances here.  She had this song to sing.  The words didnít mean too much, not as much as an older person who had some experience.  The more I listened to it the more she got on my nerves.  Iím sitting here, this love affair is going on and you can hear her say, like a kid would say, ďGimmie símore, símore.Ē  Where an adult would say, ďMay I have some more.Ē  All of a sudden hereís this love song and you hear this símore, those type nuances.  Do you understand?

Then this glorious duet, he sings so tenderly.  His first words grab your heart.  ďLook at the sky, tell me what do you see.  Just close your eyes and describe it to me.Ē  I can just see Him now, standing with her in the Heavens, wanting to show her His creation.  Can you imagineÖÖcaught her up in the Spirit and her eyes are looking like His, over all the stars flung.  And He says, ďJust describe it to Me.  Tell Me, what do you see?Ē  And they are singing, their voices, their feeling is meshing.  She is more adult, you can hear it.  Her voice is not nearly as good as Lee Rimes.  But thereís a womanliness there.   This man-woman thing is there, and oh, Iím just enthralled...until I heard the third one.

This is that love beyond words, where they dance their own dance and sing their own song.  No words have to be said, theyíre plumbing the depths of each other and the glory surrounds them, just them.

Song of Songs  8:6 Ė ďSet me as a seal upon thine heart, as a seal upon thine arm:Ē  (Fan:  See thatís the third)  ďfor love is strong as death; jealousy is cruel as the grave: the coals thereof are coals of fire which hath a most vehement flame. (She says to him:)  (8) ďWe have a little sister, and she hath no breasts:Ē  (Fan: Sheís like the first song rendition, which means potential, not grown up yet.) ďwhat shall we do for our sister in the day when she shall be spoken for?  (9) If she be a wall, we will build upon her a palace of silver, and if she be a door, we will enclose her with boards of cedar.Ē  (She says;)  (10) ďI am a wall and my breasts like towers; then was I in his eyes as one that found favor.Ē  (13) ďThou that dwellest in the gardens, the companions,Ē (Fan: See, "the companions")  ďhearken to thy voice, cause me to hear it.Ē

The levels and positions state, speak of degrees.  I went and looked up the word "degree" and itís found quite often in the Psalms.  The Psalms of degrees, thatís David.  "Degrees" mean steps, stairs.  And, in fact, one of them means "the stories", like first story, second story, third story, "stories of Heaven".  And indeed we know that there are more than three.  Itís an ascent, an incline that goes up.  In fact, the Hebrew word "alah" (H5927) means to go up, ascend and climb:  "to go up, go up over, to rise, to come up before God, to excel, be superior to, to be taken away, to bring up, to cause to ascend or climb, to cause to come up, to be exalted, to rouse, to stir up, to be carried away, to be led up."

That is going to be the ministry within the body:  "to cause to come up".  I will be contacting some of you and asking you to work with one another because itís going to be an Organism of cells.  The human body has cells.  Thereís need for that.  Thereís need for different kinds of teaching.  I have learned that not all respond in the same way to the same thing at the same time in the same way and I could go on and on and on.  Some of you are over- structured, some of you are under-structured, some of you are rigid, some too rigid, some spontaneous, and some too spontaneous naturally.  I might say naturally, hence, the differences.  Personality certainly plays into it.

We are going to see Him work with all the types and build and build and build and build.  And no one is going to be responsible beyond what each will allow, which means each is personally responsible for themselves.  That you may reach out to one another but you are personally responsible for what you do with whatís offered, whatís given.  Support for one another as the Spirit leads.  Not as the personality leads, but as the Spirit leads.  Submitting one to another in the fear and the admonition of the Lord.  I have a feeling itís Church time.  Not sure thatíll be the easy way.  I donít think so.

Now, what will I be doing?  Iím not going to be doing what I just described.  Iím not teaching a class for everybody.  I am not!  Iím not going to sayÖ.. Iím going to tell you who Iím teaching a class for.  Iím going to be teaching.  There will be no Thursday class in the day anymore.  Iím teaching in the evening.  As of now it will be after Labor Day, Thursday evenings.  I think from probably from six to eight.

I want to read you something about Song of Songs before I get to the scriptures I got:

Reading:  "The Song of Solomon is regarded today as probably one of the most obscure and difficult books in the Bible.  It brought the commentators great comfort and sustained the spirits of those men and women who were hunted like animals throughout the mountains and glens of Europe." Fan:  Those are the ones Iím going to talk to, that kind.  And what is the essential yearning of the body for love.

Fan:  I was astounded as I read this.  Remember I asked you what you thought "frigid" meant?  I stated that I wanted you to send me what you thought    Barb B:  I can tell you right now, cold.  Fan:  Distant and cold.  Hedy:  I was away, I would say that too.

Fan:  Distant and cold.  Do you want to know what I feel "frigid" means?  Unable to have an orgasm.  Forget all this other stuff, all of this ethereal stuff. Iím sitting here looking at all theseÖ.told me a lot though.  Tells you a lot.  I had to laugh.  I laughed as I read them saying ďI donít believe this.Ē

Reading:  "It is a revelation of all that was intended and the divinely given function that we call sex."  (Fan:  I couldnít believe that there wasnít a single answer pertaining to sex.  "Frigid", thatís THE MEANING!  PASSION:  It is sex as God intended sex to be, involving not just a physical activity but the whole nature of passion, passion.  (See, frigid is a lack of passion, a lack of  (Fan demonstrating; heavy breathing)  PASSION!

Reading: "As Paul puts it in Ephesians:  Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the Church and gave Himself up for her.  (Fan:  Does anyoneís husband love them that way?  No, that is the truth.  Iím not finished with that thought.  Iím coming back to it.)  The love of a husband and a wife is simply a manifestation and a picture of that deeper love which is Godís intention for human life."

Fan:  Now, your husband does not love you as Christ loves the His Church.  Does that let you off the hook?  No, it does not!  Thatís what God told me.  Thereís another part to it.  ďWives, submit to your husbands.Ē  And that is what I had to learn when it was repulsive, when it was painful, didnít matter.  There was not an option.  It didnít say when he does "that".   You do your part.  You canít do his part, you canít.  There is a part you cannot give beyond.  He has to come and get that part.  But I will tell you this, that is so far out there, you have to work "a mile a minute" before you get to that part.  Do you understand what Iím saying by that?  It is not up to you to decide that youíve had enough.  Itís up to God to decide youíve had enough.  And until God decides youíve had enough, you havenít given enough.  Itís that simple.  That when it says, go not to bed angry.  It doesnít matter what heís done to you.  If heís ready for sex, you better be ready and you better do it in a way that is pleasing to him.  GOD will please your needs.

Your option is to please him as best you know how.  Some cannot be pleased.  That doesnít let you off the hook.   You please him the best you know how.  Thatís what you have to do.  He nailed me!  I didnít read any pages about deserving or about earning.  God told meÖ ďYou give him what you want.  You treat him as you want to be treated and do not look for a response.Ē  If you are doing it to look for a response for him to get better, be better, you are giving to get.  You are not giving as Christ.  I tell youÖ.you marry Him.  You know what to marry Him means?Ö To become just like Him!  Thatís what it means, to become ONE.  You canít tellÖ.and He gave everything.

No, you donít get raped.  You understand what Iím saying about those doníts?  Thereís a lot this side of that and you have to suck it up.  I will tell you: you will not know grace, you will not know grace until you spend yourself.  You will not be met until you spend yourself.  You will not "stand still and see the Glory of the Lord" until you spend yourself.  You will not see His Glory until then.  And when you do see His Glory, my God, my God!  Astounding!

Matt. 19:28,29,30 and Mark 10:29,30.  ďAnd Jesus said unto them, verily I say unto you, that ye who have followed me in the regeneration when the Son of man shall sit in the throne of his glory, ye shall also sit upon twelve thrones judging the twelve tribes of Israel.  And everyone that hath forsaken houses, or brethren, or sisters, or father, or mother, or wife, or husband, or children, or land for my nameís sake.Ē

Fan:  Now, what does that mean?  Your utmost now is to God.

The utmost now is to God, not man.  And I will tell you:  my husband gets a lot more because of that then when I was into my own "tit-for-tat, pay back time".  And I was generous, had a generous spirit, I was generous.  But you donít know generosity till you know God.  Does my husband get what he wants?  No, but he gets a lot more than he even needs because of what God has me give.
Is he happy with me?  No.  The forsaking part means it doesnít matter to me.  I donít live and breathe for his approval.  I donít live and breathe for him to be happy with me.  I donít live and breathe, be on pins and needles, if he is upset or excited.  All in a spirit of love, thatís all I can say.  Of love, even when the "no" is there.  The spirit of love is astounding.

But the gloryÖ.. Iíd say the respect that has come to reside between us is "heavy".  Itís "heavy".  This is repeated in Mark and itís repeated in Luke.  Not a lot of verses are repeated in all the gospels.  This is one of them.  "Many that are first shall be last and the last shall be first."

Reading:  "And Jesus answered and said, ďVerily I say unto you, there is no man that hath left house, or brethren or sisters, or father or mother, or wife or children, or husbands or lands for my sake and the gospelís but he shall receive an hundred fold."

Fan:  And thatís in each of those verses.  ďHe shall receive an hundred fold.Ē  Thatís what Iím teaching on Thursdays.  Hundredfold.  All of you are not hundredfold.  I know it and you know it.  Youíre not hundredfold.  I will be here and anyone can come, anyone who is interested can come.  Iím aware people can grow.  Iím aware one is here this week, oneís there, itís the opposite.  I am here but I am teaching 100%ers.   6 to 8 here I will be on Thursday nights.  If you desire to come, you can come.  But be aware, this is it.  Thatís all Iím doing.  Iím not doing "baby care" no more.  It died, "died dead".  I sat there at that computer knowing it was OVER in a flash, dead, dead, dead!  I canít even screw up the desire, itís gone.   Serious, serious!  Anyone is welcome, but here for serious.

I was ready to start anew with one person.  Thatís it.  I will be in touch.  I donít know how He will lead on it because I have some ideas on how to touch one another.  But this is serious!  This is not for lust.  This is not for self-exaltation.  It is not for "duty" in ministering one to another.  God wants to forge an entity that is God breathed.  God breathed!

Let me share some-thing with you today.  He has been telling me so much, just opening up so very much.  The reason why one person cannot judge where another person really is that no one really knows.  Do you know what insight He gave me today?  Some people come here for a rest.   For a rest.  Do you understand that?  Thatís why they are "laid back".  Do you understand what Iím saying?  That is why they are "laid back" and not "with it".  What do you understand of what I just said?

Phyl:  They come here to rest in you.

Fan:  No, no, no!

Phyl:  To get a rest?

Fan:  Yes, to get a rest.  Sarah:  From the cares of the world?  Fan:  Yes, they donít care that much, theyíve come here to get a rest.  That in this life their job is not to hassle, not to be on the journey.

Reta:  Is that tantamount to some going to church?  When we used to go to church, we figured we go to church on Sunday.

Fan:  No, no, no.  What I am saying is that some people who look to you as though they are blasé.  They are here to have a rest.  Life isnít just here on earth.  Itís everywhere and itís hard.  Itís hard and some may have traumas we know nothing about and in order to get them ready for the journey againÖ.this time theyíre here for a rest.

Nancy:  They are here on this earth?

Fan:  YES!  They are here for a rest, for a rest!  (Phyl:  You donít judge, do you?)  I sat back in the chair and I said, ďNo, they are here for a rest, getting ready or just coming out of deep, deep, deep, deep, deep stuff!  Traumatized in the other way, the other realm.  And they come and theyíve got a lot of issues and theyíre here to rest.Ē  I was stunned, here to rest.  ďIn my Fatherís House are many mansions, if it were not so I would have told you.Ē  Then He talked about "before the time".  ďJudge nothing before the time.  You know nothing about it.Ē  Some are here for a rest and you judge that they are not wholehearted or theyíre half-hearted.  They are here for a rest.  These may have beenÖ.what do you call those, they were warriors, those great warriors, not the Vikings, theÖÖÖ..?  There are many who have died in battle, I mean who have been beheaded and martyred and all.  Theyíre here for a rest, unrecognized, unrecognized valiant spirits needing rest and recuperation.

Iíll be here 6:00.  All are welcome.  6 to 8:00 pm.   The Thursday after Labor Day, nothing between now and then.  The Thursday after Labor Day for the 100%ers.  Thatís what Iím teaching.  Any can come to listen, any can come to absorb, any can come to learn or whatever.  Iím fully, fully aware of stages, levels, and what have you.